Paul Horton: Avoiding Divorce

Divorce is a difficult process fraught with stress, anger, sadness, and grief. It can take a number of years and be costly if you are dealing with a spouse who refuses to be reasonable or who is vindictive. Some things that you can attempt to do to strengthen your relationship in the hope of avoiding the differences that lead to divorce include the following:

Communicate with your partner. Listen with an open mind. Have a dialogue about the things that bother you or that you need from your partner. Each partner needs to be able to talk openly.
Accept change. People grow and goals change over time. Unless you are willing to grow together, your relationship has a strong chance of dying.
Spend time together. You need couple time. The only way to know one another and to appreciate each other is to make time away from the demands of life. Some couples set Friday night or a Sunday morning as their time to talk and catch up.
Get the help of a professional. Marriage counseling can provide an opportunity for the two of you to talk openly about the things that are bothering you.
Bring back a little spontaneity and romance. Boredom can ruin a relationship. Ask your spouse to help you find something new that you can do together to make life more interesting to you both.

Contrary to Popular Belief, National Divorce Rate is Declining

You’ve probably heard the statistic thrown around that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, and that the amount of divorces in America is increasing all the time. However, a recent piece from the Utah Times suggests that neither of these “facts” are true.

The following are few of the facts presented in that study:

Approximately 70 percent of people that were married in the 1990s hit their 15^th anniversary, which is up from 65 percent in the 70s and 80s. So far, couples that were married in the 2000s are getting divorced at even lower rates than that.
If numbers continue to decline at the rate that they have been, an estimated two thirds of all marriages will not involve divorce.

There are several potential reasons proposed for these statistics. One is the feminist movement of the 1970s. Marriages in which the woman has gone through higher education or where both the man and woman have similar education levels are less likely to end in divorce. The same is true in marriages where both partners take an equal role in sharing housekeeping and child rearing duties.

Another possible reason is the fact that people are marrying later in life than they were in past decades. In the 1950s, men were getting married on average at age 23 and women at age 20. Now, those numbers are approaching 28 and 26.

Will I Have to Endure a Long Court Battle?

There is no easy answer to this question. Every divorce case is different. However, the majority of divorce cases are uncontested. This means that the couple was able to agree on issues like alimony, child support, and custody without the assistance of the court. Uncontested divorces are resolved quickly and no court battle occurs.

People think every divorce ends with a long, drawn-out, and contentious clash that involves ridiculous theatrics. This occurs mostly on television, and rarely in the real world.

Child custody is an issue that may cause a divorce to require litigation. However, having an experienced and aggressive attorney by your side can reduce the chances of conflict with your spouse. If litigation becomes inevitable, the court will determine child custody primarily based on what is in the best interests of the children.

Another issue that may lead to litigation is the division of property and assets. However, in many cases, a couple can sit down with their respective attorneys and discuss who gets what without the need of a trial.

If you must go to trial, the cost and length of your divorce will depend greatly on the lawyers you choose to represent you. Avoid hiring a friend or family member who practices law. There are many different types of attorneys and the wrong kind can actually hurt your case. You need a law firm that has extensive experience handling family law and divorce cases.

Free Consultation with a Divorce Attorney

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.